The Temptation of Laziness (Sissy)

These last few months of being a stay-at-home mom have allowed me plenty of time to learn things about myself that I never really saw before...things that can only be discovered when no one else is looking. I'd like to say that I discovered I am a true go-getting, self-starting person who accomplishes every task I set out to do. Sadly, that is not the case. I did learn, however, that I possess a trait I am very determined to defeat. Sheer laziness.

Before I resigned from my job, I remember discussing with several of my co-workers how excited I was that I was going to take time off from work to be with Danielle. I was super-determined to use the extra time I had off to work out, exercise, and be a million times more active than I was able to sitting at my work desk all day. I thought for sure this was the solution to my ever-growing weight issue. I had envisioned for years how svelte and sexy I would be if I didn't have to work. I would be an exercising fool! I would work-out as my full-time job. Look out, Jillian Michaels - Amanda Meeks is on the rise! Alas, I may have lost a few pounds by eating healthier. But, I am as sedate as ever. This is where the self-discovery comes in:

My husband's Fruit-of-the-Looms should get credit for this revelation, actually. Earlier this week, he confronted me on the fact he had no clean underwear.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Uh, yeah." He replied.
"But there is several pairs in your drawer." I said in self defense.
"Have you looked at them? They are full of holes! I can't wear those!" he replied, exasperated.
"Then why do you still have them?" I asked, again in self-defense.
His look answered me that I was missing the point. Sternly, but lovingly, he said,
"Babe, you stay at home all day. The housework IS your job. You are falling behind and I need clean clothes for work!"
"Sweetheart, I am so sorry. I have just been really busy and didn't get to the laundry. I'll do it tomorrow," I promised him.

I knew I had been busy...but what did I do all day that I was so time consumingly exhausting? Let's see. I started out by waking up at 8 a.m. to Danielle yelling for me to come get her. Then I fed her a bottle. After that I put her in her play area and hopped on the computer. Then we had lunch...wait, lunch? How much time did I spend on the computer? After thinking about it, I realized I had wasted almost an entire day on that silly machine. The next thing I knew, David was coming home from work and I was still on the computer. Nothing like an eye-opening slap in the face to get your attention.

At first, I started to think of all the reasons why I felt like I had to "mentally check out" so often. I began to look for people and circumstances I could blame. But, God being the good Father He is, wouldn't let me get away with that. The next morning, I had a long talk with myself. I said, "Self - you are lazy. You spend way too much time being busy at things that have no importance, and have no energy left for the things you need to do. Just because you don't get a paycheck doesn't mean you don't have a job!" God was nodding in agreement with me, as He led me to an article by Lance Quinn at Grace to You Ministries on laziness. I have posted it at the bottom of my entry for you to read.

I have been thoroughly convicted. Rather than filling my day with meaningful tasks with a few idle moments in between, I had begun to justify the long stretches of laziness with the mindset, "I've worked hard at being the breadwinner for 16 years. This is my time to relax". This isn't going to fly. It is affecting my health, my marriage and, if I don't turn this mindset around, it will affect Danielle. She is a little sponge learning by imitating. I DO NOT want her to imitate me being lazy. Bad Mommy.

Now that I am armed with this information about myself, what am I going to do with it? First, I am going to be spending less time "eating the bread of idleness" and more time doing constructive, intentional tasks that will improve my and my family's state of well-being. Whether it is housework that I have been neglecting, a brisk walk with Danielle around the lake or cooking extra meals and keeping the fridge well stocked, it will get done and with an attitude of gratefulness. I need to enjoy the fact that I am able to stay home and do these things. Many women in this country would kill for the chance to stay home with their little ones...and I am fortunate to have such an opportunity. I must not squander it.

It is time for me to leave you with the thoughts below, and take care of some important matters around the home.

In fact, I think I'll start by tossing my husband's holey underwear.

WORK HARD AND DON'T BE LAZY!

Here are twenty practical principles from Proverbs to motivate you to work hard and avoid laziness. After you read through these principles, take the time to go back through and look up the origin of each principle in the book of Proverbs.
1. Remember, working hard is first a mindset (and so is laziness). [Proverbs 10:5; 15:19; 22:13; 26:13, 16]
2. Working hard and staying on task is a matter of self-control. [Proverbs 16:32b; 25:28]
3. Get up early. Try to stand up right when the alarm clock goes off. [Proverbs 20:13; 24:30-34; 26:14; 31:15]
4. Do hard jobs first and easier jobs second; then you can have fun. [Proverbs 22:29; 21:20; 24:27]
5. Love what you do as a vocation, regardless of what it is. Ask God to grant His blessing and favor in your work (cf. the account of Joseph in Genesis 39). [Proverbs 12:11, 14b; 28:19]
6. Don’t try to make money by deceit or fraud. If you do, God will punish you, sooner or later. [Proverbs 3:9-10; 10:2; 11:18; 15:27; 16:8; 20:14; 28:8, 20]
7. Be honest with your employer about how much you work. If you’re lazily collecting a paycheck, that’s stealing. [Proverbs 14:23; 20:17; 22:16; 30:8-9]
8. Don’t work so much, however, that you need to re-introduce yourself to your family. Strive for a healthy balance between your work and your family life. [Proverbs 13:11, 25; 15:16-17; 23:4-5; 24:3-4]
9. If you travel too much (according to your wife’s/family’s honest, loving assessment), seek to curb your travel, if possible. Perhaps another position would provide greater harmony in your home. [Proverbs 11:29; 15:22, 32; 18:15, 22; 19:20; 21:16]
10. If your wife is regularly wondering how the bills are going to be paid, and you’re not taking initiative to lead, confess your failure in leadership and take control of your family finances. [Proverbs 16:26; 19:14; 21:5; 26:15]
11. Treat your work (house cleaning, school work, or whatever it is) as though you will reap a harvest from your labors. [Proverbs 20:4; 27:18, 23-27]
12. Don’t work only in order to receive. Rather, find satisfaction in simply doing good work for God and men. [Proverbs 3:27-28; 12:26; 21:25-26; 24:21-22; 25:21-22]
13. Lazy people often assume that others owe them a handout (whether they’ve worked hard or not). Don’t fall into an entitlement mentality. [Proverbs 13:4]
14. When you are asked to serve in some way, don’t attempt to take the path of least resistance (because of laziness). [Proverbs 10:26; 19:15]
15. Consider how much more would be accomplished for the kingdom of Christ if you worked as hard in ministry as you do for a paycheck. [Proverbs 18:9]
16. Consider how your employer would evaluate you if his assessment was based on your work ethic in ministry. (Would you be fired?) [Proverbs 21:2]
17. If you are a lazy person, or if you tend toward laziness in certain areas of your life, confess your sin to God. Whether at home, at work, or in ministry, admit to God that you haven’t been working as hard as you should (He knows already), and ask Him to cleanse you from sin. [Proverbs 28:13]
18. Abandoning laziness and growing in diligence means you must be controlled by the Holy Spirit. Here are some practical steps you can take: [Proverbs 12:24, 27; 31:27]
a. Ask the Spirit to make you a hard worker for God.
b. Read, re-read, and even memorize the proverbs that pertain to both laziness and work.
c. Trust God to overcome any bad habits you’ve developed regarding work and diligence.
d. When you are tempted to be lazy, seek the Spirit’s help in prayer and remind yourself what the
Word of God teaches.
19. Show how the Proverbs on diligence and laziness are important by reading them to your family and then applying the biblical principles. Discuss with your family how you can hold one another accountable to be diligent workers for God and men. [Proverbs 1:8; 2:1-2; 3:1-2; 4:1-2, 10-11, 20; 5:1-2; 6:20; 7:1-3; 8:32-36; 22:17-21; 23:15-25]
20. Ask God to give you opportunities to become a hard worker, and then look for Him to answer in every realm of your life (home, work, school, ministry, etc.). [Proverbs 6:6-11; 24:30-34]

Lance Quinn - GTY Ministries
http://www.gty.org/Resources/Articles/A372

Sticktoittiveness

It has been over two weeks since my last post. I am proud to say that I am making improvements in my life for the better. I have been active at least 3 times a week (thanks to my sister who is on the ball! GO NAY NAY!!!) If it wasn't for her I would probably be back to my old sedate ways, as much as I hate to admit it. I do have more energy. I feel sexier (which is mostly mental at this point - too soon to see any REAL changes yet). While I feel the draw of the old habits trying to pull me backwards, I am still keeping my focus and not giving up this time.

I have finally developed what I like to call "Sticktoittiveness". Sticktoittiveness is defined as the "ability to engage in a new endeavor long enough to achieve a desired outcome". You won't find this on Wikipedia - I don't think - as it is a word I made up. Although, I think it is Wiki-worthy.

There are 3 levels of sticktoittiveness. Nay Nay has been engaged in Level 1 - the highest level of determination possible. She has been on a mission to get out of the fitness funk she's been in, in exchange for a total health transformation. I am so proud of her. On the other hand, I have been engaging in the lowest form of the stick-to-it attitude, Level 3. I haven't given up, but I am struggling with the initiative to get out and exercise on my own. But, if Nay Nay calls and wants to work out, I won't make an excuse. I go with her.

There are plenty of excuses I could make to stay put. But, I have forced myself to come up with a reason why the excuse won't work. For example:

Excuse: It's too hot.
Solution: Work out indoors.

Excuse: My A/C is broken (this really did happen) and it's 84 degrees in the house.
Solution: Go swimming instead.

Excuse: But I have the baby.
Solution: Put her in a floaty and swim laps with her.

(can you see the argument with myself going on??)

Excuse: But it is lightning outside.
Solution A: Either wait until the storm passes or -
Solution B: Hop in the car and drive to the mall. Walk the mall.

So far I haven't been able to think of an excuse for the mall walking yet.

Excuse: I don't feel like it.
Solution: That's not an excuse.

Level 2 is the point at which you are being consistent with your actions to achieve your goal, but it is based on motivation. It is very easy to slip from Level 2 to Level 3 if you rely on the feeling of motivation to propel you. Nay Nay is a strong Level 1 - sticking to her goals by any means necessary even if she doesn't feel like it.

I did have some setbacks these past two weeks. The main problem was I threw out my back - BAD. I couldn't stand up, walk, or even sit up in bed. Caring for Dani was a monumental task. I was so angry at myself because I knew this would deter me from my goal. Sure enough, I went from working out every day to being laid up in bed for 3 days. Oh, how the determination was extinguished! All because I bent over to pick up a toy the wrong way.

Slowly, I am easing back into low-impact activities. Walking and a lot of time in the pool (which is ideal for summertime). But the wind has definitely been let out of my motivational sails. I am blessed to have a sister who is stronger than I am. I just hope should the time come she needs a push in the right direction, I can be the rock she's been for me.

That is motivation to strive for Level 1 sticktoittiveness in itself.

Gathering My Inspiration...(Nay Nay)

This blog has empowered me to talk about my struggles so openly, that I started to have light bulbs come on left and right. I have spoken about some of my issues with others that I trust, however, I feel like I am finally doing something for myself that is life-changing.

Its a funny thing, after I had Lily I decided to truly step out and start doing new things. I walked the Race for the Cure, I went 5 hours early to a book signing to meet one of my inspirations, Kat Von D, and ended up being the first in line in front of thousands!! (Kat is an amazing tattoo artist who is classically trained in piano-she can play all of Beethoven's music with her eyes closed.) I even went to the Lions club to play some B-I-N-G-O and won $250! It seems that when I really want something, it comes to pass.

I remember reading in "The Celestine Prophesy" and other books that positive thoughts and actions reap positive outcomes. In the Bible, "You reap what you sow" As I grow older I am finding out how true this statement really is.

I am excited to be on such a good path right now. I have been eating right (except for a beer or two), working out 4-5 days a week, and attempting not to stick any food in my mouth in the evenings (this is my hardest one!). It is difficult because after 7 is my down time. Michael is in the room playing his computer games and Lily is in bed. So I am left with TV, my art, books, and - eeeeek! - the kitchen. When I feel tempted I just say a little prayer and some positive self-talk, grab my book and high-tail it into my bedroom. Boredom is a horrible thing. Remember the saying "Idle hands are the devils playground"? Ha ha, oh boy...

For exercise, I worked on the rebounder today for 30 minutes to an awesome mix I made using playlist.com (one day I will own an iPod!) and I am leaving in a bit to go get my hair done. Thank goodness, because my roots are seriously about 3 inches long!! Thank you for taking a minute out of your day to devote to Sissy and I....Much love


Rock on
*R*

Sissy: The Plan

Like any well-seasoned traveler, I have learned that going forth on a journey without at least making plans ahead of time can lead to disaster, not to mention a stressful trip. It dawned on me the other day that my approach to establishing healthy eating habits needs to be handled the same way. And by establishing a plan, I don't mean running to the store and buying the latest fad diet book as my road map. Been there, done that, doesn't work. That approach is like trying to use one of those cheesy theme park maps to work your way around Orlando - it may work for your tour around the parks, but once you are back in reality you'll wish you had an actual map that is "drawn to scale".

I've been researching different eating plans and lifestyle changes. If my sister and I are going to tackle this issue once-and-for-all, we need something that can be adopted for life. One of the plans we are considering is Phil Kaplan's "Best You've Ever Been". It is a no B.S. approach to weight loss. I like that he focuses on reving up your metabolism and proper nutrition rather than cutting calories and restricting food intake.

My husband told me about this guy several years ago, and, of course, like any good wife I shrugged him off. "What does my 6' 2" husband know about weight issues?!" I thought to myself. Plenty, actually. But I didn't really want to admit to my husband that he could actually be right. Nevertheless, he bought Phil's book and encouraged me to read it.

Well, my husband deserves a Medal of Honor for having to put up with me. I decided to swallow my pride along with the last chocolate truffle he got me for our anniversary and decided to give Phil's plan a whirl. I am about half-way into the book and so far, I really like what I am reading. He dispells all the diet myths, the "wonder" pills, the "As Seen on TV" exercise equipment, and gets down to the science behind supportive nutrition. He also addresses the mindset of a healthy person. And that is the key that very few, if any, another diets talk about - changing the way you think about food and exercise. This guy might be on to something.

There is an affirmation that Phil writes in his book that I am to read aloud. At first, I thought it was kind of stupid. But after I read it a few times, it actually makes sense. If I am going to change my mind set, I have to start somewhere. Well, here is goes:

Today, I give myself permission to go through a complete and total metamorphasis.

As of this moment, the winner inside of me breaks through.

The person who was here just a moment ago has now been replaced by a stronger willed,

happier person, a person who revels in the knowledge that the power to change lying dormant

has been released.

The future holds no bounds.

Today, I promise to begin a series of actions, each directed at an ongoing betterment, betterment

that will manifest in positive changes in my life and the power to positively impact the lives

of others. I promise today to begin an empowered and wondrous journey towards being

The Best I've Ever Been!

Enough is enough...

Nay Nay's Story:

My gut reaction after reading Sissy's story was utter heartbreak. I literally broke down. The reality of how vulnerable I am about to become with my weight loss struggles is almost to much to bear. It means I have to get really honest with myself and truly discover why it is that I'm overweight. It isn't that I am ignorant about nutrition. Anyone who truly knows me, knows I am well-versed in that subject.

Eating has become a way to not feel my emotions or deal with issues that I grew up with. I have been putting myself on auto pilot. I have had my years with partying and drugs, but Michael-my love- gave me an ultimatum to get sober or he was leaving. I guess I still needed a way to "legally" numb my feelings of failure, disappointment, and worry. I was disappointed with my past actions and my grades in college, so, I can't help but feel I failed my parents expectations. I worry about finances, my family's health, my household and my daughter.

Enough is enough.

My happy weight is 130-135. When I delivered Lily, my now-15-month-old daughter, I weighed 211 lbs. Then something new got thrown in my mix. Depression. I felt so down that on top of caring for this new beautiful baby girl, I also had to care for myself enough to eat right and exercise, take care of Michael, keep the house clean, pay my bills on time, keep food in the house, etc... Its a hard adjustment for anyone.

Since having Lily, I have yo-yo'd between 173 and 180. I can't seem to pull myself out of this slump. My sister and I wanted to go public for many reasons. To inspire others and show they are not alone, to motivate, but I am also doing this to help to keep myself accountable.

So I am stepping out of my comfort zone (that's an understatment) and am going to stop being so concerned about what other people think of me. I only need to answer to myself and to God.
I am a wife and mother and I am so blessed to have friends and family that love and support us. This is a new chaper in our lives and I'm glad we get to share this journey with you. Watch out because we're not giving up this time...

Rock on
*Nay-nay*

The older I get, the better I used to be...

Sissy's Story:

I recently jumped on the scale at my sister's house and confirmed my worst fear...I had gained another ten pounds in the last two months. The scale now read a whopping 247 lbs. Two-forty seven? I have gained 100 pounds since high school. As much as I had been trying to brush off my weight gain in the recent years, the ugly truth was staring back at me in the form of three little numbers. "TWO FORTY SEVEN...(which translated into) YOU ARE OBESE"

Obese is such an ugly word. No one wants to be labeled with such a term. "Fat" is bad enough, but "obese"? Please, just put me out of my self-inflicted misery.

It isn't as though I haven't tried to lose weight in the past. Like any woman who has traveled down the yo-yo dieting path, this was unfortunately not an unfamiliar scene. It is the reason I have waaaaay too many clothes in my closet, ranging from size 6 to size 20. I can't bear the thought of getting rid of any of them - not that I am a clothing junkie - but out of fear that if I get rid of my smaller sizes, I am giving up the fight to lose this stubborn fat forever. If I get rid of my fat clothes, then I may not have anything to wear if I gain the last 5 pounds back and then some. So, my closet is about as obese as I am.

Oh, I've tried all the diets. And I mean ALL. From Atkins to Zone Diet, I have been a financial enabler of the dieting industry. Some of them actually worked. But none of them were any that I could stick to for life - and there in lies the problem.

I have plenty of reasons to drop this excess body baggage, and most of them do not involve issues of vanity. Besides having grandparents and a mother with diabetes, relatives with heart disease, high blood pressure and all the other weight-related health problems, I had a very complicated pregnancy due to being overweight. My excess fat caused me and my husband to miss the birth of our daughter.

About 6 months into the pregnancy, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I know a lot of women get this without necessarily being overweight - but it didn't stop there. Even though I was able to control my blood sugar with a strict diet (and I actually did follow it for the sake of my baby girl), pre-eclampsia set in and I was put into the hospital on bed rest for three weeks prior to my delivery.

The morning of my delivery, the surgeon broke the news to me: My platelets were too low to use an epidural...they were going to have to put me completely under. As I wept uncontrollibly in the pre-op room (I am sure those hormones didn't have anything to do with it!), I looked at my husband in despair. Being the wonderful man he is, he assured me everything was going to be OK and that God was right there with us through it all.

About an hour and 15 minutes later, my beautiful 9.5 lb daughter was brought into the world, and only the doctors were there to witness it. I was unconscious and my husband was not allowed in the delivery room. I didn't get a chance to see her until many hours later and I didn't hold her until almost two days later. It broke my heart. Did my lack of self-control in eating and my blaise approch to exercise cause me to miss one of the most important days of my life? My doctor says quite possibly.

I say, NEVER AGAIN.

So, I am dedicating this blog to all the people in my life that have been affected by my poor eating habits and lack of excercise - my daughter, my husband, my future children and myself.

I hope this blog helps someone else who may be struggling with the same things. There is strength in numbers...which is why I am so grateful to have my sister by my side marching with me on this journey.

Not-A-Quitter,

Sissy